Seduction and Consent
The notion of seduction used to be that if you were good at it, you could persuade someone to have sex with you whether they initially wanted to or not. However, this is old-fashioned and patently false. If someone isn’t interested in you, no amount of seduction techniques will change their mind. Mind control doesn’t exist! The unfortunate scenario that occasionally occurs is that sometimes people feel entitled to sex and end up wearing the other party down until they don’t feel empowered to say no, which is abusive. Don’t do that.
Ultimately, the below skills will not work unless your partner is already attracted to you and has a baseline level of interest in sex with you. The methods will, however, allow you to bring that interest to the forefront of their mind and intensify it!
Why Seduction Is Important
Let’s cut to the heart of it: seduction is a vital skill to have because it can keep sex from becoming dull. Too often, people go through the same motions that they always do, whether alone or with a partner. They make a habit of getting off as quickly as possible, and they don’t take any sensual detours along the way. Seduction takes the focus off the end goal of orgasm and puts it on anticipation. And the more you anticipate sex, the more you want it, and the hotter it will be.
Seducing Your Partner
Seducing someone is about taking control of their senses and then mesmerizing those senses with the need for sexual pleasure. Doing this well takes a lot of thought and a keen eye for details. It works exceptionally well if you know them, so you have some background knowledge of what they like and what they don’t like. If you’re seducing someone you have sex with regularly, it’s a good idea to keep a sex journal. Not only can you write down what you like, but you can also keep notes on the times that they particularly enjoyed sex and then identify the commonalities. After a while, you’ll have written an instruction manual for how to get them all hot and bothered!
An often-overlooked seduction technique that can be used whether you know your partner well or not is eye contact. When used strategically, eye contact is incredibly hot. Eye contact while doing something particularly steamy can feel taboo, making it seem extra naughty. Sometimes during sex, people close their eyes to focus on the sensation at hand, but making eye contact forces them to remain focused on you. Eye contact can signal intimacy or something more casual, like, “I know what you’re doing and I like it.” Sometimes, eye contact can be part of a power exchange, where the dominant partner demands eye contact during certain activities, or a bratty bottom might withhold eye contact until forced. All these interactions can up the seduction factor, especially when you have extended eye contact before sex.
Seducing yourself is every bit as important of a skill as the ability to seduce your partner. If you know how to take your desire from low to overwhelming, it can make your solo play sessions blazing hot—plus, you’ll have practice before doing the same with your partner.
When you seduce yourself, you focus on slowing down and tantalizing yourself rather than speeding toward a quick orgasm. So, how slow should you go? The slower, the better. You know you’ve hit the sweet spot when you feel like you’re about to drive yourself crazy. Surprisingly, being an excellent seducer means understanding that a tiny bit of irritation is involved. You must go at a speed that means your whole body is begging you to go faster because that’s precisely what anticipation is! Your body is ready for the next step, but you’re withholding it, just for a moment.
Seduction is as much about which senses you’re not using as the ones that you are. Limiting the senses that you’re using can heighten anticipation and enhance the use of your other senses. If you’re a regular porn watcher, take a break and listen to audio porn or read some erotica instead. Exercise your imagination muscle and try to build a clear mental picture of what the characters are doing.
Then, go the opposite route. Cultivate a sensual space that will enrapture all of your senses. Wash your sheets and consider using aromatherapy oils to make your space smell delightful. Light candles and turn off all the overheads for the most flattering lighting. Turn on some music that makes you feel sexy. Consider putting on some lingerie and checking out your sexy self in the mirror. If you do this, only positive self-talk is allowed! Then, give yourself a brief massage with your fingertips. Before you know it, you’ll be ready to go.
Taking these steps before masturbating will help you seduce yourself and realize that you are well worth all the effort. And the more you practice self-seduction as well as seducing your partner, the more natural it will feel.
Want to Learn More?
Thanks for reading this post! I'd love to talk to you more about it, and I'm also available for both virtual meetings and in-person meetings at the Chicken Ranch. Reach out to me directly at [email protected], and I can answer any questions you have or we can plan our meet together.