1) Choose a birthday celebration that would make you feel seen and celebrated:
A: Coming home to a clean house and a dinner that smells amazing
B: A full body massage from your sweetheart
C: A thoughtful gift that shows how well your friends know you
D: Going away for the weekend with your friends—and having their undivided attention
E: A sweet and hilarious birthday haiku about how much you mean to them
2) If you’re fighting with someone, what’s the quickest way they could make it up to you?
A: Taking on a chore or a work project they know you hate, so you get some downtime
B: An apology-filled, extended hug
C: A surprise gift left on your doorstep
D: Going somewhere quiet for coffee, so that you can both talk it through
E: An apology letter that shows they understand how they hurt you, and how they plan to change
3) Pick a date that, if your partner planned, would mean the world to you:
A: A DIY date. Cross something off of your to-do list together, like painting that closet a fun color, or finally put together those IKEA shelves with the intimidating instructions. Turn on some music and have a blast making your own version of HGTV. Pro-tip: bring a homemade dessert, too.
B: Salsa lessons, where you spend the night up close and personal in a super romantic way.
C: Painting some pottery, with a twist: you each have to paint something specifically for the other person, so you both go home with a personalized, one-of-a-kind gift!
D: Camping. No phones, no computers, just nature and great conversation.
E: Dedicating a song to them at karaoke, which you then sing, off-key or not. This only works if they find one where the lyrics perfectly describe your relationship, or how they feel about you.
4) What scenario would make you feel closest to your friends?
A: When they know I’m super busy, so they picked up some groceries for me while they were at the store.
B: Sitting close to them—perhaps during Netflix minus the chill.
C: Going hiking, but they gather wildflowers throughout to make you a pretty bouquet.
D: The nights where you’re having so much fun playing a game or chatting that you can’t believe it’s somehow 3 am.
E: A text where they tell me exactly how much of a badass I am
5) The quickest way to get on your bad side is:
A: If someone doesn’t help out, even though they know you need it.
B: Creating needless physical distance.
C: Forgetting to buy you a thoughtful birthday present.
D: Scrolling on their phone while you’re talking.
E: Saying something sarcastic and critical.
6) Something that you would find particularly hot during your intimate time is:
A: They devote a night entirely to your pleasure. No reciprocating!
B: Extra cuddling, foreplay, and lingering touches—all the way through the experience.
C: A sexy box left on your pillow, perhaps a new cock ring or vibrator for the two of you to play with together.
D: Trying an erotic meditation together, so that you’re both as focused and mindful as possible!
E: Seriously sensual dirty talk.
Love Language Results
If you got mostly As, then your love language is acts of service. You’re a busy person, and getting practical help means that the people in your circle are listening and take the time to make your life just a little bit easier.
If you got mostly Bs, then your love language is physical touch. You’re flooded with so many endorphins when someone gives you a pat on the back, the best kind of hug, and during sex.
If you got mostly Cs, then your love language is gifts. It’s not the price tag that matters, it’s the thought behind the gift—and that your friends see you and know who you are, and that’s how they picked out that perfect gift.
If you got mostly Ds, then your love language is quality time. Doing something memorable together means the most to you, so you love board game night, road trips, and long talks about nothing in particular.
If you got mostly Es, then your love language is words of affirmation. You love to hear that you’re loved, whether it’s your partner bragging about you at work, or your best friend telling a story about how amazing you are.
Want to Learn More?
Thanks for reading this post! I'd love to talk to you more about it, and I'm also available for both virtual meetings and in-person meetings at the Chicken Ranch. Reach out to me directly at [email protected], and I can answer any questions you have or we can plan our meet together.